Review of THE LONG WALK: Physical and Psychological Pressure

September 18, 2025

The US was still reeling from the effects of a major war and a failing economy. For the chance to win a grand cash prize, several young men all around the country apply to join an event called "The Long Walk," organized by the Major (Mark Hamill).  The fifty chosen boys would have to walk continuously, no stopping allowed, no sleep, no bathroom breaks. If ever someone' speed went below 3 miles per hour, he was going to be eliminated, literally.  

Ray Garraty (Cooper Hoffman) was one of the boys chosen by raffle for the walk that year. Because the walk was being held in his home state, he was brought to the starting point by his mother Ginnie (Judy Greer). He quickly made friends with fellow walkers Peter (David Jonsson), Hank (Ben Wang) and Baker (Tut Nyuot). Other walkers were not too friendly, like Stebbins (Garrett Wareing), Barkovitch (Charlie Plummer) or Collie (Joshua Odjick). 

The most memorable films in director Francis Lawrence's filmography are those in the "The Hunger Games" franchise, starting from the second film "Catching Fire" (2013) to the current reboot. Actually, "The Long Walk" had an uncanny "Hunger Games" vibe. There was a dictatorial military government who chose a representative from each state, and they will join an intense physical and psychologically-demanding contest to the death. Familiar, right?

"The Long Walk" is a 1979 novel written by horror auteur Stephen King, under his pseudonym Richard Bachman. It was the first novel King started to write as a college freshman, but only published four years after he released "Carrie." The novel started with 100 men, and the minimum walking speed was 4 mph. In the book, Ray meets his girlfriend in Freeport, instead of his mom as we saw in the film. Also, the final two guys differed in the two versions.

This film served as an introductory acting showcase for its cast of young actors. Cooper Hoffman is the son of the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman. As Ray, he had certainly gone a long way from when we first saw him in "Licorice Pizza" (2021). He had a great rapport with the other actors, especially David Jonsson and Tut Nyuot, establishing genuine friendships with their characters. As sadistic Major, Mark Hamill was a fearsome symbol of their collective oppression. 7/10

Review of MAGELLAN: Conquest and Conversion

September 15, 2025

In 1511, Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was part of the crew of Alfonso de Albuquerque, who sailed around the tip of Africa to reach Malacca, which was claimed in the name of King Manuel I of Portugal. In 1519, Magellan led his own expedition to Southeast Asia, this time going around the tip of South America, through the Pacific Ocean to reach Cebu island, which he claimed in the name of his new royal sponsor, Carlos V of Spain.

This historical biographical film was written and directed by Filipino slow cinema auteur Lav Diaz. It runs for 160 minutes, a modest length in the Lav Diaz canon, where at least 8 of his films ran for more than 5 hours long, 3 of which ran beyond 9 hours long. 

Even if the running time was relatively shorter than his usual, there were still those very long, languid steady camera shots with very little action happening, and puzzling, erratic editing. For his fans, this signature cinematic style is part of the charm of watching Lav Diaz film. People who are watching this film as their first Lav Diaz will likely get very restless, but believe me, this taste can surely be developed with more exposure.

This is only the third time Diaz shot in color, following two of his best-known works -- "Batang West Side" (2001) and "Norte, the End of History" (2015). However, the most powerful scenes had muted colors, such as those of the strong waves breaking along the beach as mothers mourned their dead children. 

For a film about a voyage halfway around the world by a fleet of huge four-masted ships, the scenes of ships at sea and the people on board felt strangely static, depending only sound effects of splashing water and subtle camera movements to create an illusion that they on rough waters. We won't see epic seafaring wide-shot scenes here, like those we saw in "Master and Commander: Far Side of the World" (2003) or even "Mutiny on the Bounty" (1962).  

In the Cebu scenes, the costume of the natives were so randomly arbitrary. While there were those who were typically dressed as expected, there were several natives, men and women, who were completely naked -- from the opening scene of a woman catching snails in the river, to that moving scene of a funeral cortege walking towards the ocean. I was wondering why there had to be nudity when clothes already existed.

This had been chosen to be submitted for Oscar consideration for Best Foreign Film, a second time for Diaz after "Norte". However the choice feels rather ironic. Aside from telling the story of a colonizer, Diaz ended the film by going against a historical detail that every Filipino learned since their childhood. Many will sit through all the slowburn to see a climactic battle with Lapu-Lapu, only to be disappointed when he didn't show up as expected. At the risk of casting doubt on his very existence, Diaz boldly portrayed Lapu-Lapu as a collective spirit of native defiance against foreign invaders. 6/10

**********

Here are my reviews of the other Lav Diaz films I had seen before:

PHANTOSMIA (MY REVIEW)

ESSENTIAL TRUTHS OF THE LAKE (MY REVIEW)

KAPAG WALA NANG ALON (MY REVIEW)

HISTORYA NI HA (MY REVIEW)

PAN, GENUS (MY REVIEW)

ANG HUPA (MY REVIEW)

ANG PANAHON NG HALIMAW (MY REVIEW)

ANG BABAENG HUMAYO (MY REVIEW)

HELE SA HIWAGANG HAPIS (MY REVIEW)

MULA SA KUNG ANO ANG NOON (MY REVIEW)

NORTE: HANGGANAN NG KASAYSAYAN (MY REVIEW)

FLORENTINA HUBALDO, CTE (MY REVIEW)

MELANCHOLIA (MY REVIEW)

EVOLUTION OF A FILIPINO FAMILY (MY REVIEW)

Netflix: Review of KONTRABIDA ACADEMY: Hurting the Heroes

September 13, 2025

Gigi (Barbie Forteza) was having a miserable life. She worked as an assistant manager in a Korean barbecue place under a slave driver of a manager Jingo (Jonathan Tadioan).  She was forced to help settle big debts that her irresponsible mother Betty (Carmina Villaroel) incurred from loan sharks. Her relationship with her boyfriend of seven years Abet (Yasser Marta) was going nowhere, until she saw another girl riding his motorcycle with him. 

Gigi won a big screen television set in a raffle at work. When she turned it on, it was only showing one floridly melodramatic telenovela entitled "Batas ng Api" ("Law of the Oppressed"). The lead character was a girl named Mirinisa (Ysabel Ortega) who was relentlessly abused by her wicked stepmother Mauricia (Eugene Domingo) and seductive stepsister Mimi (Xyriel Manabat). One day, Mauricia addressed Gigi by name, inviting her to enter the TV world. 

That this comedy-fantasy film was written and directed by Chris Martinez (based on an original concept of Alpha Habon and Randolph Longjas) automatically made it a film to check out. Martinez also wrote the screenplays for "Kimmy Dora: Kambal sa Kiyeme" (2009) and its sequels, and "Ang Babae sa Septic Tank" (2011), all of which starred Eugene Domingo. With Mauricia, Martinez had created another memorable role for Domingo and her signature unbridled over-the-top style of comedy acting. 

Domingo took her assignment to heart and went to town with it. She embraced the villainy of her role fully -- her eyes wide with cruelty, her insults brutally sharp, her slaps painfully crisp. On the other end, Barbie Forteza's Gigi was the perfect martyr. After Mauricia got her to turn on her dark side, Forteza showed off her acting range by convincingly transforming into sexy, confident and assertive Gia -- ready to exact revenge on her tormentors.

The best parts were those lessons by real-life villain actors, like Rez Cortez (Facial Expression), Dimples Romana (Insults), Odette Khan (Principal), Celia Rodriguez (History), Jean Garcia (Art), Pinky Amador (Languages), Gladys Reyes (Math), Baron Geisler (P.E.), Mylene Dizon (Science). Portraits of those who had departed, like Joaquin Fajardo, Bella Flores, Zeny Zabala and Cherie Gil, were a nice touch. They should've added more.

With leading man Arnaldo (Jameson Blake), Gia visited a school for heroes, called San Bida University. All it succeeded to show was how learning to be a hero was dry and boring, in contrast to how fun it was learning be a villain. Everything felt very cliché, from the fashion (long sleeves, long skirts) to the subjects (Hope, Modesty, Patience). That cameo by Susan Africa was inspired, but her lesson could have been better written. 

Halfway through, a problematic message seemed to be coming across. Does one really need to be "villainous" in order to stand up against his bullies? Did timid Gigi really need to turn into a feisty Gia in order to confront her enemies and fight for her rights?  Why become a villain to fight your villains? Martinez did try to smooth this issue out towards the end by rationalizing how someone's "villainy" can actually prove to be something good to the other person. 7/10

Review of DOWNTON ABBEY: THE GRAND FINALE: Memory and Modernity

September 13, 2025

It was 1930. The Crawley family, headed by Robert (Hugh Bonneville) and Cora (Elizabeth McGovern), were facing much stress from all fronts. Cora's brother Harold (Paul Giamatti) had lost their family's fortune in the US, and wanted to claim their family's stake at Downton. Also, the news of Lady Mary's (Michelle Dockery) divorce from Henry Talbot came out in the newspapers, causing a scandal that made her a pariah in their circle. 

In order to help Mary recover her social standing, her sister Edith (Laura Carmichael) hosted a party at Downton Abbey with playwright Noel Coward (Arty Froushan) and actor Guy Dexter (Dominic West). Meanwhile, Lady Merton (Penelope Wilton) brought Carson (Jim Carter) and Daisy (Sophie McShera) to join the organizing committee of the annual county fair with her, much to the chagrin of stuffy old chairman Sir Hector (Simon Russell Beale).

The screenplay of this latest and final installment of the Downton Abbey series is still its original creator, Julian Fellowes. Fellowes had won an Oscar for his screenplay of "Gosford Park" (2001), about the lives of the aristocrats and the servants living in a single estate. He then expanded this concept into "Downton Abbey," a beloved TV series which ran from 2010 to 2015, showing the evolution of the Crawley family from 1912 to 1925.

After the series came to a close, two feature films followed: "Downton Abbey" (2019), and "Downton Abbey: A New Era" (2022). These films depicted how the aristocratic Crawley family and their loyal staff struggle to accept the new ways which were slowly but surely encroaching into and threatening the elegant old traditions they were used to. This grand finale continues to document this process of the family adapting and transitioning into modernity.   

Knowing that this is the final film in the series brought with it a sense of sentimental nostalgia. This was going to be the last film where we will see that grand old mansion -- the halls, the library, the dining room, the ballroom, even the staircase. Aside from the grand dinner and county fair, another colorful event shown in this episode was the Ascot horse racing sequence. These were showcases of early 20th century England period production design, costumes, hair and makeup -- the signature feature of the whole Downton Abbey franchise. 

Since this newest film is a self-declared grand finale, Fellowes gave everyone -- major or minor, upstairs or downstairs -- some sort of closure. Viewers just watching Downton the first time with this film may be overwhelmed by the numerous characters. While the story may be understood, the viewing experience will really be more satisfying for fans who have seen the whole series from the beginning, those who actually care for these beloved characters. That montage of departed characters at the end is precious and bittersweet. 8/10

Review of 100 AWIT PARA KAY STELLA: Pursuing Passions

 September 10, 2025

                                                         

Stella Puno (Bela Padilla) was now the CEO of Rainstar, a events company that specialized in singles-only parties. In one of her first events, Stella met aspiring singer Clyde Pelayo (Kyle Echarri) who asked her to choose which of two songs he had should be his lead-off single.  Stella's choice was a winner, and Clyde became a star. He would tease his fans about having a crush on Stella, which made her a viral online celebrity as well.  

When one of Stella's events needed a bigger venue, she was able to make a last-minute booking at a place called Bale Ganaka. It turned out that the present owner of this new venue was none other than her long-estranged friend, Fidel Lansangan (JC Santos). Fidel was still shy, stuttered when he spoke, and still into writing music and poetry. Stella felt that the lyrics of Clyde's songs sounded vaguely familiar. She soon realized why.

The first film about the relationship of Fidel and Stella was "100 Tula Para Kay Stella" (2017) released 8 years ago, also written and directed by Jason Paul Laxamana. They were freshmen back then, blockmates in AB Psych at the Pampanga Agricultural College. Fidel was a shy, nerdy honor student who stuttered and wrote poetry. His muse Stella was a tough chick who wore black lipstick and was the lead singer of a rock band. 

The unexpected ending of the first film left a lot of fans wanting for a better resolution for their love story. This sequel picks up 15 years after college, 15 years without any contact with each other. Fidel and Stella were engaged in their own businesses now, and seemingly content at being single. They both had unsettled issues from their past that still haunted them -- Fidel with his mother Sandra (Yayo Aguila), Stella with her ex Von (now played by Albie Casino).

JC Santos and Bela Padilla fit very comfortably back into their characters, quirks and all. The fans in the audience react gleefully to their undeniable chemistry together -- they want them back together again. Kyle Echarri spent most of his screen time posturing for the camera, never felt like a serious threat as the third wheel. Clyde was also given the emotional burden of living up to a music legend father, but this was more told in words, than actually shown. 

The title implies there will be 100 new songs, but of course that is not possible. We hear maybe four songs in full (sort of) -- #1 "Kamusta Na," #2 "Itim na Lipstick," #50 "Simoy," and #100 "Iisang Daan." There would also be snippets of about 20 more scattered throughout. All of these original songs were by Thyro Alfaro. A song from the original film is also prominently featured here -- Rivermaya's "Balisong" -- which surely brought back the feels.    7/10

Review of CAUGHT STEALING: Down and Dirty Dealings

September 10, 2025

It was 1998. Henry "Hank" Thompson (Austin Butler) was a bartender living in an apartment in the Lower East Side of New York City, with his girlfriend Yvonne (Zoe Kravitz). One day, Hank's mohawked neighbor Russ (Matt Smith) left his cat Bud for Hank to take care of while he went to London. Soon after, two Russian mobsters Aleksei (Yuri Kolokolnikov) and Pavel (Nikita Kukushkin) came around and beat Hank up so badly that it cost him a kidney.

Police narcotics detective Elise Roman (Regina King) came over to Hank's apartment to interrogate him. She also told him that his friend Russ was actually dealing for a pair of Hasidic Jew drug lords Lipa (Liev Schreiber) and Shmully (Vincent D'Onofrio) Drukcer.  Hank soon discovered that Russ has hidden something in Bud's kitty litter box. When the bad guys found out about his possession of the item, everyone was now going after Hank. 

"Caught Stealing" is a 2004 crime novel written by Charlie Huston, following the adventures of its first-person narrator, Hank Thompson, a former baseball-player (a serious knee injury sidelined his budding career) and current bartender who got involved with various dangerous criminals. Hank was very close to his mother, whom he called daily in her California home. This book eventually had two sequels, "Six Bad Things" and "A Dangerous Man." 

After mesmerizing the world with his transformation into Elvis Presley in "Elvis" (2022), Austin Butler got down and very dirty this time (there was a scene of him trying to unjam a blocked up toilet with a plunger) as a young man whose life went terribly awry after he agreed to take care of a neighbor's cat. He showed amazing form in that scene where he was batting a barrage of baseballs in a cage. Hank was an alcoholic but he did not have a beer belly to show for it. 

This film got my attention mostly because it was directed by Darren Aronofsky. Ever since his big critically-acclaimed breakthrough "Requiem for a Dream" (2000), his subsequent films like "The Wrestler" (2008), "Black Swan" (2008) and "The Whale" (2022) also garnered Oscar love, even winning the big prize for two of his lead actors. Even if it is also a deep but darkly comic character study, this must be Aronofsky's lighter, more accessible films.  8/10

Review of BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY: Honoring Heroes

September 4, 2025

Once upon a time, two good friends went to the Philippine National Police Academy. Ricky Mapa (Martin del Rosario) followed the footsteps of his father, a retired police general.  His girlfriend Anna Jacob (Maxine Trinidad) finished at the top of their class Sinag Lawin. Meanwhile, their close friend Daniel Bartolome (Paolo Gumabao) went to the Philippine Public Safety Academy to become an officer of the Bureau of Fire Protection. 

The most notorious crime organization operating in the country was the one led by kingpin Victor Salazar, a.k.a. Bungo (Jeffrey Santos). When Bungo was arrested and jailed after a bungled jewelry heist, his younger brother Carlo (Mark Neumann) took over leadership to continue their next big bank heist. They run a very sophisticated modus operandi, which involved computer hacking by their cunning tech expert Jade (Bella Thompson). 

The first film directed by Jose JR Olinares under his own production outfit Pinoyflix was "The Buy Bust Queen" (2022) about brave female PDEA officers. This latest film of his basically follows the same advocacy to highlight the heroism of crimefighters, this time about police officers who graduated from the PNPA. Ricky led the Special Weapons and Tactics team, while Anna led the Criminal Investigation and Detection Unit, both in the QCPD.

There are parts of this film that felt like an informercial for the Philippine National Police. There were scenes shot in the impressive-looking PNP Command Center. There were key cameos by the PNP Maritime and Air Units, as well as state-of-the-art investigation robots. Also highlighted was the PNP LAB (Love and Blessing) Virus Program, an initiative for female empowerment by the PNP Officers' Ladies Club (OLC) Foundation, Inc.

The passion to honor heroes was admirable, even if the budget was visibly limited, especially when it came to fire and explosion special effects. The writer can be good with inspirational sentiments, like "I know there is hope, because we are hope." However, his dramatic scenes can be awkward and jarring, In the lovers' quarrel scene, Ricky accused Anna of only "playing dress-up" -- a misogynistic remark completely out of his character. Another questionable scene was when Bungo was confronted by Anna who was holding a pencil -- simply so wrong.

The saddest aspect of this film was its treatment of Daniel and the firemen. They were depicted only as an afterthought, such that everything about them could have been edited out and not mattered. In sharp contrast with the modernity of the PNP, this film showed how poorly-equipped our firemen are. They were only using regular surgical masks when entering a smoky building to rescue victims, not a single gas mask or hazmat suit in sight. Sad. 4/10

Review of THE CONJURING: FINAL RITES: Malevolence in the Mirror

September 2, 2025

In 1964, young Ed and Lorraine Warren were investigating the case of a haunted full-length mirror. It had a heavy wooden frame, with carvings of three faces adorning the top part. When Lorraine was heavy with child at that time, and her mere touch of the mirror surface cracked the glass and sent her into immediate labor. As her emergency delivery was underway, Lorraine was seeing demonic visions around her. When her baby came out, it was stillborn. 

In 1986, the Smurl family of Pittston, Pennsylvania were celebrating the confirmation of one of the daughters. Her grandparents' gift was something they bought at the flea market -- a big mirror with a heavy wooden frame with three faces carved on the top part. From that time on, various inexplicable things were happening around the house. These were innocuous and seemingly harmless at first, but soon, they became more and more sinister.

This is the 9th film of the Conjuring Universe, which also includes the Annabelle and the Nun films. It is the fourth film in the main Conjuring series about real-life cases of Ed and Lorraine Warren: James Wan's original (2013) about the Perron family, and sequel (2016) about the Entfield poltergeist, Michael Chavez's "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It" (2021) about the Ann Cheyenne Johnson case, and this new film about the Smurl family. 

Consistent with the Conjuring tradition of horror, this latest film was also had excellently-executed creepy and startling scare scenes involving a haunted house, children, and toys. This time around, one of the younger girls had an ugly crawling baby doll that kept on calling her mother that can really get under your skin. Those scenes involving the priest Fr. Gordon (Steve Coulter) in the Smurl basement and in his superior's office were also very well done.

To appreciate the film more, better not put too much thought about the ghosts that the Smurls and the Warrens were seeing and fighting. A number of ghosts were technically not directly from the mirror at all, including the madman with the axe, the crone in the hall of mirrors-type fitting room and even Annabelle on the rocking chair.  The final showdown between the Warrens and the mirror went on a bit too long, that it felt over-the-top than truly scary.  

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga have really settled into their characters comfortably. The scene where young ex-cop Tony (Ben Hardy) was asking for Ed and Lorraine's blessing to marry their daughter Judy (Mia Tomlinson) was light and comic. A lot of time was spent on the family life of the Warrens, which some may feel went on with more humor than scares. Being the final installment of the Conjuring franchise, the ending was sentimental as expected. 7/10

Review of OUTSIDE DE FAMILIA: Treasuring Time

September 2, 2025

Glenda (Sheila Francisco) was a wealthy widow. However, despite having all the comforts in life, she was disappointed that her son Greg (Luis Alandy) was always very busy at his job. Whenever they were supposed eat out together, he would frequently stand her up because of meetings. Whenever they were supposed to be eating together at home, he would be rather be tinkering his phone than talk to her. 

Elena (Ruby Ruiz) had never been well-off financially since she was young. At present, she made a living as a small-time loanshark. Elena brought up her daughter Noemi (Gelli de Belen) as a single mother. Noemi already had her own son Totoy (Dwayne Garcia), but she still ran back to her mother frequently when she fought with her abusive deadbeat partner, and would even get food and cash from her.  

Written and directed by Joven Tan, "Outside de Familia" is about the solid friendship between these two senior ladies.  Glenda and Elena had been best of friends since high school and up to the present. They may be miles apart in behavioral finesse and financial status, but they spent a lot of time having fun together in coffee shops, restaurants and even cocktail bars. They found their happiness outside their respective families.

Sheila Francisco had her roots in musical theater, most notably as Bloody Mary in a West End revival of "South Pacific" (2002), and Tiya Dely in "Ang Huling El Bimbo" (2018).  Ruby Ruiz got her humble beginnings in indie films like "Ekstra" (2013) which snagged her a Best Supporting Actress award at Cinemalaya. Since then, she worked her way up patiently to lead roles, even making her Hollywood debut in "Expats" (2024) with Nicole Kidman. 

Francisco and Ruiz convinced us that Glenda and Elena were really bosom buddies. The ebullient happiness of their fun scenes together felt sincere and real. They traded caustic comments and naughty jokes as only true friends could. Emotions reach a peak in that scene where they celebrated Mother's Day together. Their characters may be drunk, but I'm sure there was no dry eye in the theater as they professed their undying loyalty to each other. 

I watched this film on a Tuesday afternoon with a theater full of senior citizens enjoying their free movie of the week. I noted that that the audience were reacting to the topics in the this film. It could be about old classmates dying one after the other, or perhaps about having testy relationships with their children. They clapped after Sheila Francisco sang "Kailangan Kita" at the karaoke scene. The grandfather beside me enthusiastically said that all Filipino senior citizens should go watch this film, and I agree wholeheartedly. 7/10 

Netflix: Review of THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB: Geriatric Gumshoes

August 31. 2025

At the posh Coopers Chase retirement home, there were three elderly amateur sleuths who meet in the jigsaw room to discuss cold murder cases every Thursday. Leader Elizabeth Best (Helen Mirren) had a wide portfolio of skills from her job in international affairs. Ron Ritchie (Pierce Brosnan) was a trade unionist. Ibrahim Arif (Ben Kingsley) was a psychiatrist for veterans with PTSD. Their latest case needed someone with a medical background, so Elizabeth invited retired nurse Joyce Meadowcroft (Celia Imrie) to join them. 

Ian Ventham (David Tennant) was the owner of the land where Coopers Chase stands. Ventham wanted to close down Coopers Chase and turn it into an events place. However, his business partner Tony Curran (Geoff Bell) was opposed to the idea because an old aunt of his was still a resident. One day, Ventham and Curran had a loud quarrel right on the grounds of Cooper's Chase. The next day, Curran was found bludgeoned to death in his home.

The Thursday Murder Club is a 2025 crime comedy film directed by Chris Columbus from a screenplay by Katy Brand and Suzanne Heathcote, based on a 2020 novel (the first of a series of books) by Richard Osman (his first book). I knew of Osman from his interesting quiz shows making the rounds as reels online, such as "Pointless" and "House of Games." Knowing that he wrote these mystery novels makes me want to read them all, and soon.

The main cast is quite a powerhouse cast of A-list actors -- Mirren, Brosnan, Kingsley -- all turning up the British wit and charm. "Dr. Who" actor Tennant led the stellar supporting cast, along with Whitney Houston actress Naomi Ackie as a young police officer Donna, Daniel Mays as her chubby chief inspector Hudson, "Lucifer" actor Tom Ellis as Ron's celebrity son Jason, Oscar nominee Richard E. Grant as a crime kingpin florist Tanner, Henry Lloyd Hughes as immigrant worker Bogdan, and Jonathan Pryce as Elizabeth's dear husband Stephen. 

Director Chris Columbus ("Home Alone," "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone") tells the story as a light murder mystery with a wry sense of humor, llamas and cakes. Before the Coopers Chase murders came up, the Club was at first trying to figure out a cold case from 1973 brought up by founding member DI Penny Grey, who was now comatose. Of course no matter how complex things got, and how unlikely the clues were, all the pieces fall into place in the end, just like the Agatha Christie mysteries that inspired it. 7/10

Review of THE ROSES: A Damaging Divorce

August 30, 2025

British architect Theo Rose (Benedict Cumberbatch) and his chef wife Ivy (Olivia Colman) migrated from London to Mendocino, California, USA to reboot their respective careers. For the first 10 years, Ivy had put aside her career plans so that she can raise their two children Hattie and Roy. Theo had rise through the ranks to be the lead architect of the new maritime museum. In 2021, Theo gave Ivy her own restaurant, which she called We Got Crabs. 

On the inauguration day of the museum, a very bad storm blew in from the sea and totally destroyed Theo's. Meanwhile, the same storm diverted a lot of unexpected customers into Ivy's restaurant, one of whom was a noted food critic from the city.  So, on the very day that Theo was fired from his job, Ivy's sales at her humble restaurant began shooting through the roof. With this, the couple had to make some big adjustments in their lives.

This husband vs. wife scenario was based on a 1981 novel by Warren Adler entitled "The War of the Roses," alluding to the 15th century battle between the White Rose of York vs. the Red Rose of Lancaster for the throne of England. This was made into a hit 1989 movie of the same title directed by Danny de Vito, starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. This story involved a heart attack of husband which triggered the sudden change of heart of wife.

In this reboot, the road that led to the Rose couple's divorce was more subtle than that of the original story. Director Jay Roach ("Austin Powers," "Meet the Parents") and writer Tony McNamara ("The Favourite," "Poor Things") took their time building up to that dire decision.  Theo and Ivy seemed to still be giving each other chances along the way, until this chance encounter with a beached whale (of all things) pushed things over the edge.

Making the couple originally British made McNamara's screenplay drip with sarcastic British witticisms which Cumberbatch and Colman can deliver with flair. Colman may feel miscast as Cumberbatch's wife, but eventually she settled into the role.  There were also more intrusive participation by friends here who can be very annoying -- lawyer Barry (Andy Samberg) and his wife Amy (Kate McKinnon), rival Rory (Jamie Demetriou) and his wife Sally (Zoe Chao). 

As an update for this new film, the new house under contention was equipped with AI that followed their every command, a feature used to annoy the hell out of their partner during their climactic battle. Here, the final scene was bittersweet but dark, despite a fade-to-white ending. However, I still believe that the equivalent scene from the original, after the chandelier fell with them on it, was more memorable for being so heartless. 6/10