Review of SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE: Extraordinarily Eclectic

May 31, 2023

In her dimension, Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld)'s Spider-woman persona was accused of killing Peter Parker. The policeman most obsessed on apprehending Spider-woman was Gwen's very own father, police captain George Stacy (Shea Whigham). When Gwen was cornered, there appeared ninja vampire Spider-Man 2099 Miguel O'Hara (Oscar Isaac) and pregnant African-American Spider-woman Jessica Drew (Issa Rae) to help her escape.

Back in his dimension, Miles Morales (Shameik Moore) was in trouble with his parents Jefferson (Bryan Tyree Henry) and Rio (Luna Lauren Velez), and was being grounded for two months. However, Miles cannot ignore the threat posed by a criminal entity calling himself "The Spot" (Jason Schwartzmann), whose body, after a technical accident in his lab, became covered with black holes which could transport him to other dimensions. 

From the eclectic ever-shifting fonts and designs within the opening credits, we can immediately foresee the smorgasbord of artistic styles that made this sequel to the critically-acclaimed "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse" (2018) an animator's pipe dream realized. The film opened with canvass painting-style scenes from Gwen's dimension, then shifted to a modern computer-animation style in Miles' dimension, and so on. 

Each and every Spider-Man character in the Spider-Verse had his or her own distinct look and style. The most striking of them all was that of Hobie Brown (Daniel Kaluuya), also known as Spider-Punk. His cool character stood out from everything else because it looked like it was drawn on a separate piece of paper and then animated. Among the villains, aside from kinetic The Spot, the Renaissance-style art of the Vulture (Jorna Taccone) was also remarkable.

Directed by three filmmakers in their feature film directorial debut, Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers and Justin K. Thompson, this sequel looks well-poised to follow in the Oscar-winning footsteps of its predecessor. The animation was frenetically-paced during the exhilarating chase scenes, and emotionally-touching in the dramatic parts. All the references to multiple incarnations of Spider-Man from comics, TV, film and games will keep fans giddy and alert. 9/10.

Vivamax: Review of KABAYO: Serviceable Stud

May 26, 2023

Ad creative director Conrad Bautista (Rico Barrera) and Laurene Uytingco (Julia Victoria) had been lovers for seven years.  One constant source of stress for Conrad was his abusive boss Max  (Ping Medina), who just so happened to be Laurene's elder brother. When Max hired another creative director Rain Buenasol (Paolo Rivero) to go head to head with him, Conrad decided he's had enough. 

One night, Conrad and Laurene attended the party of Easton Cornejo (Angelo Ilagan), who had just come home after seven years in New York City. Easton was opening his own advertising agency and was offering Conrad to be his creative partner in his new business, and even introduced him to a potential first client Amy Sandiego (Apple Castro). Conrad was interested, but was there a catch?

This is the story of a man who was forced to work beyond his limits in order for him to be able to keep his job and his girl. His sadistic taskmaster boss Max overworked Conrad during office hours, while his sexually-insatiable girlfriend Laurene worked Conrad to the bone any time and any place she wanted to.  Rich boy Easton had a horse ranch in Talisay, so there was a horse in number of scenes, but the title did not exactly refer to the animal.

Despite being the veteran (being the first housemate evicted from PBB1 in 2005), Rico Barrera's acting was still as stiff as his unnatural-looking trimmed beard. The rest of the cast are all newcomers, so you cannot really expect too much. Julia Victoria's Laurene was very frank and flirty, but her role did not give her much more to do. It was Angelo Ilagan who showed the most promise among them with his sensitive portrayal of the libertine Easton. 

Director Gianfranco Morciano worked with a screenplay written by Winfred Santos and Ping Medina. The threadbare story was a mere excuse to string along a series of sex scenes, as is expected from the Vivamax brand. Like the film that debuted last week "Sandwich," this one also went beyond regular couple sex into threesome territory more than once with various permutations of actors, but stopped short of consummation on the final tryst. 2/10. 

Review of THE LITTLE MERMAID (2023): Resolute Yet Reckless Romantic

May 25, 2023

Ariel (Halle Bailey) was a headstrong young mermaid who had a fascination with the human world above, against the wishes of her father King Triton (Javier Bardem). One night, Ariel rescued a drowning Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) when his ship got caught in a sudden strong squall and sank. Ariel brought him to shore, and revived him with her siren song. She went back into the sea when Eric's men came looking for him on the beach.

Meanwhile, King Triton's evil sister Ursula (Melissa McCarthy) tempted Ariel with a chance to get human legs and go live on the land with the man she loved, in exchange for her beautiful voice. Ariel had to be able to make Prince Eric give her the kiss of true love in three days. Because she had no voice, Ariel's friends -- crab Sebastian (Daveed Diggs), tropical fish Flounder (Jacob Trembley) and diving bird Scuttle (Awkwafina) -- had to come along to help. 

African-American singer Halle Bailey was announced to be portraying Ariel in July 2019, and since then, this casting was met with controversy. However, after watching the teasers, trailers and then the full movie, it was clear that her race really did not matter after all. Bailey nailed the challenging role in both its acting and singing demands. She captured Ariel's wide-eyed innocence and idealism, being so resolute yet so reckless. 

Melissa McCarthy went full-on campy in her portrayal of the evil sea witch Ursula and her despicably catchy solo song "Poor Unfortunate Souls." Jonah Hauer-King had the princely bravado of Eric down pat, although he seemed too old for Bailey's Ariel even if they were only 5 years apart.  Javier Bardem only had a few lines to say, but his expressive face delivered the fatherly nobility of King Triton with full emotional connection.

Another aspect of the film that would draw comparison would be the song numbers. The best one for me was definitely "Kiss the Girl" in terms of atmosphere, singing, visuals, and emotional buildup to the song's climax. The lighting of the "Part of Your World" was quite dim which rendered the details unclear. For "Under the Sea," the choice of sea creatures like jellyfish and snakes in the dance ensemble made it feel rather strange. 

Like Beast had his own solo song in "Beauty and the Beast," Prince Eric also had his own solo number with "Wild Uncharted Waters." I felt the rendition of Hauer-King was too over-dramatic and was marred with his awkward gestures. The lively Caribbean musical stylings of lyricist Lin Manuel Miranda was most felt in Scuttle's delightful song with Sebastian entitled "The Scuttlebutt" about the news that Eric was about to propose to someone.

The computer-generated imagery for final battle scene between the giant Ursula vs. Eric and Ariel was problematic because Ursula's face could hardly be seen. This climactic scene was also remarkable because this live version changed who would deliver the final blow that would win the fight. In the 1989 animated original, it was Eric who rescued Ariel. Here, in keeping with the female empowerment, it was Ariel who rescued Eric (again). 

This live-action version of "The Little Mermaid" is almost an hour longer than the original animated version. It introduced us to Eric's mother the Queen Selina (Noma Dumezweni) and fleshed out Eric's butler Grimsby (Art Malik) more. It gave more details of Eric's back story, his plans for his kingdom. Like other live-action versions, it was not really necessary, but this one was actually quite well-done, not as bad as initially anticipated. 7/10. 

Amazon Prime: Review of ANG MGA KAIBIGAN NI MAMA SUSAN: Eerie Episodes, Execrable Ending

May 24, 2023

Galo (Joshua Garcia) was an orphaned teenager who lived with his demanding uncle Tiyo Dindo, his wife Auring (Ricky Davao and Melissa Mendez) and his bratty cousins. He liked to write on his notebook journal, where he would record his nightmares about a faceless woman in black, as well as his daily routines at school with his friends (Kelvin Miranda, Patrick Quiroz, Henz Villaraiz) and crush Andrea (Sarah Edwards). 

One day, when he received news about his long-estranged father's death, he went back to his hometown in San Ildefonso island. He stayed at the big old house of his grandmother (Angie Ferro). While he was there, he met two children Nico (Ynigo Delen) and Jezel (Jewel Milag) and townspeople (Vangie Labalan, Mon Confiado, Archi Adamos, Soliman Cruz) from who he would learn more about his late father and his mysterious grandmother. 

The story of this book was derived from a best-selling 2010 novel by Bob Ong, his first time to delve into the mystery-horror genre. The book was a very engaging read, written in the first person in the style and vernacular of a typical smart Filipino teenager. The trademark humorous, conversational tone taken by Ong here makes this a easy read you can finish in one sitting, but you'd slow down because you do not want it to end so fast.

Bob Ong (only a pseudonym, he's not Chinoy) was also the one who adapted his novel for this screenplay. By and large, all the major scenes in the book also made it on the screen (perhaps not in exactly the same order).  He changed the reason why Galo went back home to the province, but that is minor. The ending is the biggest departure, and perhaps the one reason why fans of the book would be disappointed with the film version.

Joshua Garcia was quite good as Galo, making him a likable lead character. He was very natural in his acting, his attack on the role being restrained with no hysterics. Angie Ferro, with her gaunt face and quivering voice, made for a perfect Mama Susan. Her eerie delivery Mama Susan's long monologues of doom can make your skin crawl. Her most unsettling scene would be that key scene when she wore a veil with black embroidered roses. 

The performances of the two child actors, as well as veterans like Labalan and Cruz, were accurate to the book's descriptions. Jerann Ordinario's production design on Mama Susan's house was spot on, with all those intimidating religious icons, especially those purple-robed life-sized black figurines ("mga itim na lolo") found behind the altar. Cinematographer Eli Balce's pale washed-out color palette contributed to the overall atmosphere of dread. 

The book was written in an episodic style of a teenager's diary, which, while entertaining to read, made for disjointed storytelling as a film, even in the hands of veteran director Chito Rono. There were plenty of scenes which led nowhere which was frustrating. While the build-up of the suspense was good, the ending sequences was rushed so badly and haphazardly edited together, it made absolutely no sense, and that was a pity. 5/10. 

Vivamax: Review of SANDWICH: Trouble with Threesomes

May 19, 2023

Expat Edward (Luke Selby) and nurse Ria (Kat Dovey) had been married for three years already. Edward already had a son Pippa (Lucas Matthey Francia) whom he left behind with his parents (Lee O'Brian and Kathy Mulville) back in England. Edward and Ria were very active with their sex life, but they do not have their own child yet. To add more spice, they contacted a girl Candice (Andrea Garcia) from the internet for a threesome experience.

In the neighboring condo, there lived a drug pusher Andrew (Nico Locco) who ran his illegal business with his pals (Sahil Khan and Michael Olusegon). This Andrew was a sex pervert who used binoculars and telescopes to look into condo windows and spy on people engaging in sexual activities. When he peeped on Edward and Ria for a number of times, Andrew developed an obsession with Ria, and devised a way to hook up with her.

This film was supposed to be set on the day before the COVID-19 lockdown on March 17, 2023. Despite this, Edward and Ria still called a maid (Nina Castinlag) to clean up the condo, hired a repairman (Chadd Solano) to fix the air conditioner, and entertained guests including Edward's family and Ria's aunt (Regine Tolentino). No one wore masks at all, nor were they wearing bunny suits in Ria's hospital, unlike what was actually happened those days.

As the story went on, one wonders why writer Reynold Giba made the pandemic the setting of the film in the first place. In fact, after their guests left, Edward and Ria had enough time to engage with a couple of threesomes, first with Candice, and then with Andrew, a total stranger to them who just so happened to be in their elevator. This story could have happened anytime. The pandemic never really mattered in the plot literally, nor even symbolically.

To fill up the running time between the sex scenes, much time was spent on resource people being interviewed on TV, like a pastor (Rene Durian) about the spiritual aspect of the pandemic, and a psychiatrist (Apollo Abraham) discussing about the six different kinds of relationships. I suspect many viewers would just fast-forward through these long didactic scenes of random topics only tangentially related to the plot. 

Kat Dovey and Luke Selby acted their dramatic parts quite well, much improved from their previous outings on Vivamax. Auteur Brillante Mendoza continues his latest trend of overseeing the projects of new directors. The direction of Jao Elamparo was commendable in the technical aspects related to the camera work of DP Freidric Macapagal Cortez and the musical score of Jake Abella. However, in telling the story, Elamparo was not clear with his point, conversation topics were coming out of nowhere and led nowhere. 6/10. 

Review of FAST X: Rage for Revenge

May 19, 2023

Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa) was the son of a drug lord who believed that his drug lord father died at the hands of Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) in an encounter back in 2011. Years later in the present time, Dom and his wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) hear of Dante Reyes again when a seriously-injured Cipher (Charlize Theron) appeared at their doorstep to warn Dom about Dante's grave threat against Dom's whole family.  

From there, Dom and his team of Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson), Tej Parker (Ludacris), Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuelle) and Han Lue (Sung Kang) become fugitives because of a disastrous mission in Rome, which also led to Letty getting arrested and confined in a high-security facility. While Roman and the others reached London, Dom finally met the flamboyant Dante in a road race in Rio de Janeiro.

This film was supposed to be the first episode in a trilogy which will finally bring this long-lasting film franchise to an end. Dom and his whole extended family were there, this including their dear Abuelita (Rita Moreno) who gave them some words of inspiration. As usual, the same sentimental lines about the value of family were echoed over and over. His enemies knew that his family is Dom's weakness so they knew who to target. In this case, it was Dom's precocious young son Brian (Leo Abelo Perry).  

Aside from Charlize Theron, we see a number of big name actors reprising their roles from past films, including John Cena (as Jakob Toretto), Jason Statham (as Deckard Shaw), Helen Mirren (as Queenie Shaw), and Scott Eastwood (as Little Nobody). Two more exciting surprise superstar cameos came at the tail end of the film, one resurrected character right at the ending and the other comeback at the extra mid-credits scene. The late Paul Walker even "appears" in the prologue as Brian O'Connor in a flashback (and his daughter Meadow Walker Thornton-Allan cameoed as a helpful stewardess). 

Jason Momoa was a such natural playing Dante, a maniacal sociopath on the revenge warpath. His unhinged scenes brought a crazy energy that kept the unsettling tension level up when he's onscreen. Brie Larson lent her star power as the well-connected Tess, the daughter of Mr. Nobody. Alan Ritchson played the duplicitous Aimes, the new leader of Mr. Nobody's of operatives known as the Agency. Portuguese actress Daniela Melchior played Isabel, a street racer from Rio was revealed to share an emotional connection with Dom.

The outlandish car stunts this franchise was known for all these years were back with a vengeance. While nothing beat the literally out-of-this-world car in outer space scenario shown in "F9," but the car stunts here continue to defy the laws of physics. Some CG were not too clean though, especially in that scene where Dom drove down the face of a dam with a big fire chasing after them. However, we have to credit the filmmakers for keeping on thinking up of wilder, more impossible stunts with which to thrill its loyal audience. 6/10. 

Review of BEKS DAYS OF OUR LIVES: Dark Developments

May 17, 2023

Reggie Pagtanggol (Lassy), Richard Reyes (Chad Kinis) and Melvin Uy (MC Muah) were flamboyantly gay guys who had been best of friends since they were elementary school kids. One day, Reggie was complaining how his cosmetic business was failing and how he had been unlucky with men he was trying to pick up. Richard and Melvin both noted that Reggie did not look well, and convinced him to see a doctor. 

The checkup revealed an unfavorable diagnosis which caused Reggie to be very depressed. To keep everyone's spirits up, Melvin suggested that the three of them take a short break from their jobs and drive around the various scenic spots in Camarines Sur. Along the way, the three had several adventures -- mostly happy, some sad, some strange, some risky -- which made them discover more new things about each other. 

Recently, there had been a couple of gay-themed comedies which were shown in cinemas -- "Mahal Kita, Beksman" (Perci Intalan, 2022) and "Here Comes the Groom" (Chris Martinez, 2023). Both of these were well-written and well-cast with actors who brought vibrant life to the colorful characters and wacky situations that were quite entertaining and fun. Unfortunately, viewers who expect this new gay comedy to be of the same caliber will be disappointed.

Director Chad Kinis gave his two co-stars more moments to shine than himself. Lassy spent practically the whole film using his unique face as his only crutch to be funny. He had to resort to disgusting gags (like toejam or cat's poop) which were not funny at all. The highlight of MC Muah's Melvin was a reunion with his homophobic dad (John Lapus). However, Muah's delivery of lines was generally dry and unengaging, for both dramatic and comedic scenes. 

The second act was a road trip where the three friends visit tourist spots in CamSur, like Lake Manapao, Century Old Tree, Nalalata Falls and the CamSur Water Sports Complex (where the trio tried to waterski). To fill in the spaces between, there were lame corny jokes (crazy fortuneteller, hunchback girl, old lady on bridge, talent show, congee stall), as well as plenty gratuitous shirtless beefcake shots of several young men for the gay audience to ogle at. 

In the third act, the story would serve up an even more depressing, if not outright miserable, series of developments. I'm guessing that they decided on such a morbid ending for a Beks Battalion movie to expand the acting range of their comedy group, this being their debut as lead actors. This film was supposed to be about real friendship, but I doubt if these dark turns in plot would appeal to viewers looking for their usual brand of comedy-club fun. 2/10.

Netflix: Review of THE MOTHER: Parental Protection

May 15, 2023

"The Mother" (Jennifer Lopez) was a soldier in the US Army, a deadly sharpshooter who did tours of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq.  After her discharge, she got drawn into the illegal weapons trade and became romantically involved with two ruthless men -- Adrian Lovell (Joseph Fiennes) and Hector Álvarez (Gael Garcia Bernal). When she discovered that the men were also involved in child trafficking, she turned to the FBI for assistance.

The FBI convinced her that her safest option was to put her newborn daughter up for adoption in order to keep her safe. Upon her discharge from the hospital, "The Mother" went into hiding in Alaska. Throughout that time, she was kept up to speed about her daughter Zoe by an FBI agent whose life she saved, Cruise (Omari Hardwick). 12 years later, Zoe (Lucy Paez) was kidnapped. "The Mother" was not going to let her captors get away with it.

After achieving stardom in the biopic "Selena" (1997), Jennifer Lopez had mostly been best known in romantic comedies, like "The Wedding Planner" (2001) and "Maid in Manhattan" (2002), up to her most recent films "Marry Me" (2022) and "Shotgun Wedding" (2022). In that last film mentioned, we saw JLo in action scenes as the bride who fought off pirates at her wedding. It is here in "The Mother" that JLo finally goes full-on action star.

  

The actors who played her enemies had strong acting pedigrees, but felt underused. Joseph Fiennes also started his career in the late 1990s, notably "Shakespeare in Love" (1999). Gael Garcia Bernal broke out in the early 2000s in Inarritu's "Amores Perros" (2000) and Cuaron's "Y Tu Mama Tambien" (2001). However, the actors who played her friends fared much better drama-wise, namely Omari Hardwick as Cruise and Paul Raci as Jons.

Despite the fact that this action film actually had three scriptwriters, the scenario felt old-school and familiar. Despite all the harrowing injuries The Mother sustained, with JLo there in the title role you somehow knew how everything was going to end from the very start. Jennifer Lopez went all out in her action scenes from that car chase in Havana to the snowy fields in Alaska, yet only she still can manage to look glamourous through all of that. 6/10. 

Vivamax: Review of FALL GUY: Burden of Blame

May 12, 2023

Julius Sumpay (Sean de Guzman) was the son of a poor broken family. Together with his mother Lourdes (Shamaine Buencamino), Julius worked as household helpers in the mansion of the wealthy and powerful political Garcia family. He idolized the swinging lifestyle of his young boss Fonzy (Vance Larena), and would sneak using Fonzy's clothes and perfume when he flirted with rich girls at his school. 

On the night of October 12, 2019, Julius drove Fonzy, his cousin Miguel (Marco Gomez) and Miguel's girlfriend Jenie Martinez (Cloe Barreto), to a party of their common friend, Kyle Espinas (Karl Aquino), at a private resort. While Julius was preoccupied with a party girl Dana Limpin (Hershie de Leon), the three other boys violently had their carnal ways with a drugged out Jenie. In the morning, Jenie was found dead in bed.

The hand of director Joel Lamangan could be seen all over the story of this film, although the script was written by Troy Espiritu. It dealt with a common theme in many of Lamangan's films -- the rich could get away with anything because of their money and influence, while the poor dealt with injustice and oppression. Lamangan's "Oras de Peligro" (2023) basically had the same frame-up plot and crooked cop (Apollo Abraham) as this one.

The title already tells us what happens to Julius -- poor driver gets framed and thrown into prison for the crime of his boss. To make sure we get the point, this story even happened two times -- one minor one quickly resolved, and the major one for which there was no quick fixes. This story happens in the present time, but Lamangan seemed to have a hangover from his last film and inserted protracted scenes of Martial Law-era torture techniques.

As Julius, Sean de Guzman played such an unlikable character, he needed to work (too) hard in those torture scenes to make the audience to sympathize with him. Lamangan reserved the melodramatic confrontations to his triumvirate of senior supporting actresses --  Shamaine Buencamino (as Julius's mother), Glydel Mercado (as Jenie's mother), Tina Paner (as Fonzy's mother) -- and wow, how they chewed these scenes up! 

Disgusting and disturbing, it is never easy to watch rape scenes, and this one was no different. With three rapists going one after the other, the scene felt like it was going on and on too long, I had to hit the fast forward button to get it over with.  Logic went out the door when freshly-tortured Julius was able to use a fork as a murder weapon, and then go on foot to reach the hideout of the rapists before the police cars caught up with him.  3/10. 

 

Review of THE COVENANT: Honorable Heroes

May 11, 2023

In 2018, Sgt. John Kinley (Jake Gyllenhaal) was a soldier in the US Army Special Ops in Afghanistan.  When his former translator was killed in an ambush, Kinley hired the services of another Aghani, Ahmed (Dar Salim), to translate for him during their inspection missions searching for weapons caches. Ahmed needed this job not only to make a living, but also as a personal mission against the Taliban whom he blamed for his son's death.  

At first, Kinley did not appreciate Ahmed's frankness of tongue and independent actions on his own without seeking Kinley's approval. Eventually, Kinley realized that Ahmed was a valuable asset in their work, as he was able to interpret beyond what the locals were saying. One day, when Kinley was severely injured during a fiery encounter with the Taliban. It was up to Ahmed to try and bring Kinley back to their base miles away through enemy fire.

This was another one of those gritty war movies set in the Middle East, in the vein of "The Hurt Locker" (2009) and "Zero Dark Thirty" (2013). This one focused on the relationship of two men which was bonded and burnished through the intense pressures in the battlefield. The second act of the film was dedicated to how Ahmed risked everything to rescue Kinley. The final act was dedicated to how Kinley risked everything to pay Ahmed back. 

Jake Gyllenhaal is someone who can disappear into any role, and he was totally into this one. His Kinley was serious as a working soldier, but he was passionate as a grateful friend desperate to return the huge favor he received. Dar Salim grew up in Denmark as a child refugee from Iraq before becoming an actor. His Ahmed was smart, pragmatic and capable, a man whose dedication for his family made him a very sympathetic character. 

Guy Ritchie had certainly grown a lot since his directorial debut with "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" (1998). Most of his most famous films had been big and flashy, like "Sherlock Holmes" (2009), "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015), and "Aladdin" (2019). However, with "The Covenant," Ritchie trimmed off all his stylistic excesses to deliver a stark dramatic film, which may be called predictable and melodramatic, but definitely had a big heart.  7/10.

Review of EVIL DEAD RISE: Maternal Mayhem

May 9, 2023

Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) was a single mother raising three spirited kids in an old apartment building in Los Angeles  teenagers Danny (Morgan Davies) and Bridget (Gabrielle Echols), and the youngest Kassie (Nell Fisher). One night, Ellie's sister Beth (Lily Sullivan) came for a visit when she learned that she was pregnant. The children went to buy pizza for dinner and when they parked their car in the basement, there was a strong earthquake. 

Danny saw a hole on the floor of the parking area. He went down and saw that there was an old bank vault underneath, where he picked some old photographs and vinyl records. Inside a cracked old church altar there was a mysterious old book with spooky drawings inside. When Danny played the old record on his turntable and the demonic incantations were heard on the speakers, a malevolent spirit was summoned to terrorize their building.

This new film written and directed by Lee Cronin is the fifth and latest installment of a horror franchise that was born in 1981 from the fertile imagination of writer-director Sam Raimi, who helmed the first three films -- "The Evil Dead" (1981), "Evil Dead 2" (1987) and "Army of Darkness" (1993). In 2013, there was a reboot simply entitled "Evil Dead," written and directed by Fede Alvarez. All these previous entries received good reviews from critics and fans.

Of the five, I had only seen the Alvarez reboot so I do get the essence of the franchise -- demons revived by eerie incantations from a cursed book of the dead wreaking mayhem on the teen occupants of a cabin in the woods. The Alvarez reboot was criticized for stripping the franchise of the slapstick humor of the Raimi trilogy, especially with the absence of Ash (Bruce Campbell), the wisecracking original hero.

This Cronin version replaced Ash with a female protagonist Beth, and brought the "Deadite" action from the woods into the city of Los Angeles. The elevator of the apartment building will the be setting for a couple of remarkable horror scenes which were callbacks to older horror classics -- with tree branches attacking a female victim and the gallons of blood that gushed out of it. The comedy unintentionally came from the awkward acting of the lead actors.

The style of the kills make or break a film like this. Here, the kills were gory and bloody. A girl got scalped. A man got his eyeball bitten out and spit out. All the victims possessed by the demons coalesce into one giant monster called the Marauder. From the very start, we already see a machine called the "Tree Surgeon" parked in the basement, so we already know that it will play a major role in the grand bloody finale. 7/10. 

Review of BIG GEORGE FOREMAN: By-the-Books Biopic

May 8, 2023

George Foreman (Khris Davis) and his sisters grew up in abject poverty. As a big hotheaded teenager, he was a school dropout and engaged in petty crimes. When he heard about the Job Corp, a US government project that provided vocational education, he convinced his mother that this would be good for him. One of his mentors at Job Corp was Doc Broadus (Forest Whitaker), who would later become his trainer in boxing. 

This film would then check off all important events in Foreman's career as a boxer -- from his stint as a rookie at the Mexico City Olympics in 1968, to his heavyweight championship fight versus Joe Frazier in 1973, and his "Rumble in the Jungle" vs. THE Muhammad Ali in 1974. He retired from boxing in 1977 and became a devout born-again Christian. After 10 years, he returned to the ring en route to another world title at age 45.

This biopic had an unwieldy subtitle -- "The Miraculous Story of the Once and Future Heavyweight Champion of the World" -- that already hinted on the simplistic, step-by-step approach of director George Tillman Jr. in telling the life story of George Foreman. It was pretty much a paint-by-numbers story about a violent man's religious rebirth, hence there is the antiseptic feel of a reenactment in a religious TV show, like "The 700 Club."

Lead actor Khris Davis portrayed Foreman from his teenage years up to his mid-forties, quite a feat of physical and attitudinal transformation for this 35 year-old actor. The way he was photographed by Tillman's camera, David looked formidably imposing, despite being only 5'11" in height (the real George Foreman is 6'4"). David so effectively captured the angry Foreman in his youth, and transitioned to the jovial Foreman of his later years.

Forest Whitaker played the familiar role of boxing mentor, a staple of every boxing movie there every was. A most scene-stealing actor was Sullivan Jones who played Muhammad Ali as a cocky trash-talking loudmouth. The religious aspect of this film held as much prominence as the boxing parts. The inspirational message was definitely there, although the dialogue in those parts can get too earnest, idealistic, and melodramatic.  6/10. 

Vivamax: Review of AFAM: Misogynistic Madness

May 6, 2023

Hazel Grace Cunanan (Jela Cuenca) and Daisy Mae Labra (Robb Guinto) were the very best of friends. They worked on the staff of Bukang Liwayway resort under their strict boss (Giselle Sanchez). Hazel's policeman boyfriend Rex (Roi Alonte) called off their relationship because he could not handle a long-distance relationship. Daisy discovered that her co-worker boyfriend Nonoy (PJ Rosario) was sleeping around with guests.

The next day, their old friend Melba (Katya Santos) became a special guest of their resort, She snagged a rich Italian husband and now went by the exotic name of Madame Mirabella Vaghina. Inspired that Melba was able to get out of her poverty by marrying a foreigner, Hazel and Daisy both started relationships with American guys they met online. Hazel met a guy named JJ, while Daisy met a guy named Jamey. 

The main story about Filipino women hooking up with foreign men in order to get a brighter future for themselves could have gone a whole lot of different ways. However, writer Cyril Ramos just chose to address this issue as a noisy and annoying slapstick comedy. It had vulgar, repetitive "jokes" that were all sorts of demeaning to Filipino womanhood, all done to serve up the usual Vivamax formula of sex and crime.

It would turn out that the girls were being wooed by one and the same American rascal (Nico Locco). However, instead of rejecting him right there and then, the two BFFs even decided to compete for his final approval, to the point of doing underhanded tricks to make the other look bad. At the end, the girls make their final decision about their AFAM not because they got smart, but only because they were pushed to a "no-choice" situation.  

Robb Guinto and Jela Cuenca have proved their dramatic mettle before, yet they were here mashing each other's breasts or canoodling with bland boring beaus. Katya Santos brazenly summarized her tips on how to snag an AFAM boyfriend with a vulgar acronym pertaining to a wondrous part of the female anatomy. It was ironic that Linneth Zurbano would choose to direct an insultingly misogynistic story like this as her feature-length debut. 1/10. 

Review of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3: Delightful, but Darker, Downbeat

May 4, 2023

The Guardians' headquarters in Knowhere was suddenly attacked by a super being called Adam Warlock (Will Poulter), son of Ayesha (Elizabeth Debicki), the Sovereign empress. Rocket (Bradley Cooper) sustained a serious, untreatable injury which led Star Lord (Chris Pratt) to bring them all to seek a solution at the Orgosphere, where Rocket's creator, the High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji), presided. 

In 2014, the "Guardians of the Galaxy" were still an obscure group of heroes from the comics, a big risk for Marvel to bring to the big screen as a CG-effects-heavy outer space adventure. However, the first film turned out to be an unexpected success mainly because of the likability of the cast and their chemistry as a team. Its musical soundtrack, composed of catchy pop tunes like Blue Swede's  "Hooked on a Feeling," propelled its popularity. 

In "GOTG Vol. 2" (2017), we met more of Peter Quill's family -- his ancient Celestial father Ego, and his delightful empath sister Mantis (Pom Klementieff). Between that  and this new sequel, "Avengers: Infinity War" (2018) happened, which led to the death of Gamora (Zoe Saldana), However, a younger version of her, Gamora-14, appeared in "Avengers: Endgame" (2019), and here as a Ravager under Stakar Ogord (Sylvester Stallone). 

This third installment was dedicated to Rocket, where he came from and where he is going next. We see how he developed from a cute raccoon kit picked from a cage, to a meek genetically-engineered genius, to the gruff gun-toting bounty hunter we knew him to be. We also meet his fellow genetically-engineered prototype mutants -- Lylla the otter (Linda Cardellini), Teefs the walrus (Asim Chaudry) and Floor the rabbit (Mikaela Hoover).

The other Guardians played support to Rocket's life and death ordeal here, including Peter Quill and Gamora-14. Nebula (Karen Gillan), Drax (Dave Bautista) and Mantis discover new aspects of their personalities. Groot (Vin Diesel) has grown, showing off the extent of his powerful abilities. Back on Knowhere, Kraglin (Sean Gunn) worked to master the late Yondu's arrow, while his dog Cosmo (Maria Balakova) mastered her telekinesis. 

Writer-director James Gunn still imbued "Vol. 3" with pretty much the same magical ingredients of adventure, humor, heart and catchy songs to sustain the audience appeal of the first two films. Opening with an acoustic version of Radiohead's "Creep" and dealing with the unsettling theme of animal cruelty, this one had a decidedly darker, downbeat mood than the first two, which it carried all the way through to its bittersweet ending. 8/10.