Review of UN-EX YOU: Desperately Determined

April 9, 2025

Zuri Yolanda Soriano (Kim Molina) was now 35 years old but still single. She the owner of her own courier service called Movex, which she ran with her best friend Greg (Bob Jbelli) and her techie nephew Brian (Kyosu Guinto).  One day, her OB-GYN Dr. Josie Anne Pudayana (Marnie Lapus) discovered from her lab results that Zuri had a diminished ovarian reserve, so her biological clock to have a child of her own was fast winding down. 

She was not keen on adoption or in-vitro options, preferring to get pregnant by natural means. Zuri went to the remote town of Sitio Halupi to reconnect with her ex-boyfriend Andy (Jerald Napoles), who was living with his aunt Manang Mameng (Candy Pangilinan) and her daughter Baybeh (Vladia Disuanco). However, Andy had been suffering from amnesia for some time already, following a bad vehicular accident he had while working abroad.

Real-life couple Kim Molina and Jerald Napoles had three films together as loveteam in 2021 -- "Ang Babaing Walang Pakiramdam," "Ikaw at Ako at ang Ending," and "Sa Haba ng Gabi." (2021). These were followed by "Girlfriend Na Puwede Na" (2023), "Seoulmeyt" (2024), and now this new one. These two are very good in both comedy and drama, and are obviously very comfortable working together, even in rather naughty, suggestive scenes.

To emphasize Yuri's reproductive urgency, Candy Pangilinan's silly Manang Mameng was a midwife, so there was a noisy birthing scene in there. Her funniest scene though was a quiet one about a loose garter. They are building up a young love team with Kyosu Guinto and Vladia Disuanco, but they are still very raw in the acting department. Marnie Lapus stole her scenes as an over-the-top obstetrician who hated bushes, and channeled Maleficent. 

The premise of writer Danno Kristoffer Mariquit was sort of reminiscent of Kim Molina's breakout film "#Jowable" (2019), about a woman getting along in age who was desperate to get laid.  Director RC delos Reyes surprised us by building up the story with little cute comic moments between Zuri and Andy, only to climax with a peak moment of desperate confession and confrontation that was more serious than we imagined it to be. 6/10

 

Review of A MINECRAFT MOVIE: Cubic Creativity

April 6, 2025

One day, Steve (Jack Black) was tired of working in his dead-end desk job. He got his pick axe and went into a nearby mine as he always wanted to do since he was a child. Inside, he saw two "thingies" which turned out to be the Orb of Dominance and the Earth Crystal. When he put these two cubes together, Steve was swept through a portal that brought him to another dimension called the Overworld, where everything was built out of cubes. 

Discovering a new-found ability to build his own houses, Steve decided to stay in Overworld. He tamed a wolf with a discarded femur and named him Dennis. Steve stumbled upon some interesting ruins which he tried to restore. It turned out to be another portal that brought him into the Nether, a hell-like dimension where brutal pigs led by Malgosha ruled. Steve got caught, but he was able to send Dennis back to the real world with the "thingies." 

Such was the totally random and convenient shortcut backstory of "A Minecraft Movie," a fantasy-comedy film that integrated live actors into an animated world based on the 2011 video game called Minecraft, developed by Mojang Studios. If you are not aware of this video game at all, then you will probably not get it nor like it.  This film was directed by Jared Hess, creator of quirky films like "Napoleon Dynamite" (2004) and "Nacho Libre" (2006). Despite the shallowness of the plot, five writers were credited for its screenplay, quite a red flag.

Joining Steve in this silly topsy-turvy adventure were a group of other misfits from Chuglass, Idaho who also found their way into the Overworld. They were: has-been video game champ Garrett (Jason Momoa), orphan siblings Natalie and Henry (Emma Myers and Sebastian Hansen), and animal-loving real estate agent Dawn (Danielle Brooks). The humans needed to protect the blue Orb from the wicked Malgosha and her piglin minions. 

We know that Jack Black is at ease playing singing nerds like Steve, who could have been written with Black in mind. We had a blast laughing at a rollicking slapstick version of Jason Momoa who was doing one stupid pratfall after the other as muscle-bound doofus Garrett. This was a total departure from his Khal Drogo or his Aquaman personas, but Momoa did not hold back from the foolishness of his physical comedy, all in the name of juvenile fun. 

6/10 for me, but kids familiar with the video game and the Easter eggs in the film would probably rate it much higher. 

 

VMX: Mini-Reviews of DELUSYON, CELESTINA: BURLESK DANCER, HABAL

April 4, 2025

DELUSYON

Director: Carby Salvador

Headwriter: Maya Diaz

Writers: George Bryan Pablo, Zane Mendoza

Lovers Esme (Apple Dy) and Noli (Ardy Raymundo) were partners-in-crime. Esme distracted the victim, while Noli snatched their gadget or wallet. Noli was usually very loving to Esme, except when he was reminded of Esme's ex Francis (GBoy Pablo), who was now the captain of their barangay. One day, Noli was stabbed by his double-crossing friend Notnot (Mondi Lopez) and had to hospitalized. Out of cash, Esme reluctantly sought help from Kap Francis. 

It makes one wonder why it would take three writers to come up with this very common story of a desperate woman giving up her dignity to save the man she loved. Anyhow, they included a mental health thing into the mix which was supposed to have been an acting showcase for the actor who played Noli. Unfortunately, neophyte Ardy Raymundo was not yet up to the task, and resorted to bulging his eyes out to convey jealous Noli's descent into madness. 2/10

CELESTINA: BURLESK DANCER

Director: McArthur Alejandre

Writer: Ricky Lee, McArthur Alejandre

It was the Japanese occupation in the early 1940s. Celestina (Yen Durano) escaped from her abusive husband Cornelio (Sid Lucero), bringing with her their son Joaquin (Kian Co). Desperate for money, she accepted the job to be a burlesque dancer in the troupe of Estong (Allan Paule), trained by his ex-star Rosalinda (Christine Bermas). A young man Leandro (Arron Villaflor) wooed Celestina, but would later revealed his real intentions.   

Being the second VMX film released in cinemas, this had much better cinematography (by DP Daniel Toto Uy) and production design (by Ericson Navarro). The script by National Artist Ricky Lee held so much possibilities for tension and drama, but the needless sex scenes and the lackluster burlesque dancing distracted from a better telling of the story. Special mention to Angie Castrence for her portrayal of Ingga, Rosalinda's mom. 6/10

HABAL

Director: Bobby Bonifacio, Jr.

Writer: Jong Garcia

Danilo (JD Aguas) was a shy young man unexperienced in matters of sex, who lived in an apartment with his cousin Marco (Ivan Ponce) and two other lusty guys Tyrone (Jhon Mark Marcia) and Alvin (Basti Flores). He earned a living by accepting passengers on his motorcycle. One day, he had Erika (Athena Red) as a passenger, who took a liking to him, and introduced him to her friend and lover Lara (Karen Lopez). 

Like "Rita" (2024) and "Malagkit" (2025) before it, this film was another VMX feature that went beyond its usual fare of boy-girl and girl-on-girl action.  Why would VMX show scenes which are considered outright objectionable for their majority heterosexual male demographic? Could it be that VMX has noted an upswing of homosexual male viewers among their subscribers, hence the brazen inclusion of man-on-man scenes? 2/10

Review of SINAGTALA: Bandmates in a Bind

April 3, 2025

Back in 2012, Sinagtala was a very popular band on stage and on the radio. It had five members. Reggie (Rayver Cruz) was lead vocals. Paola (Glaiza de Castro), Carla (Arci Munoz) and Isko (Matt Lozano) were on guitars. June (Rhian Ramos) played the drums. When a serious misfortune befell Reggie, soon the whole band folded and the members barely had contact. One day in the present time, they all received an unexpected video message.

Last year, we had at least two local films which told a story about estranged friends who got together again when something happened to one of them. Similarly in this film, we see this very same scenario. The members of the band all experienced tough times when their band broke up. Writer-director Mike Sandejas used the device of a psychiatrist whom all the members consulted (not clear why), to tell us about what their respective problems were. 

Rayver Cruz's Reggie was an arrogant hothead and addict who later found himself behind bars and separated from his wife and daughter. Rhian Ramos's rebellious June was an adopted daughter of a Chinoy businessman Mr. Chua (Robert Sena) who was looking for her biological father, rock singer Primo Estrella (Ricky Davao). Cruz and Ramos had one memorable duet "Forever Blue" together which showcased their melodious blending skills. 

Arci Munoz's Carla was a heavy role and she gave it her all, even doing what looked like a very precarious scene. Carla could have chosen to change her red hair color prior to shooting their music video, which she could've been better lipsync-ed. Matt Lozano's closeted Isko wondered how to come out to his macho father (Benjie Paras). This comical stereotype treatment of this story may not sit well for those facing the same problem for real. 

From an early scene, Glaiza de Castro's Paola was already seen to be a religious person who led the prayers before their gigs. Throughout the film, it was through her scenes that the main messages about purpose in life and achieving one's destiny. Lest viewers only expect a musical concert film, maybe it's best to know going in that this film was built on a framework of Christian religion and inspiration -- a Lenten movie for millennials and Gen Z.  7/10 

P.S. When i watched this film yesterday afternoon, there were many small kids in the audience. The MTRCB rated this film a PG (for parental guidance) as there were several very mature themes in this film that parents should explain to their kids. There were scenes of smoking, vaping, drinking alcohol, allusions to drug intake, all the way to scenes about driving under the influence, sex work, pregnancies outside wedlock, and suicides.