MMFF 2022: Review of MY FATHER, MYSELF: Stinging Secrets

January 3, 2023

When his client and close friend, labor leader Domeng Santos (Alan Paule), died, renowned human rights lawyer Atty. Robert delos Reyes (Jake Cuenca) and his wife Amanda (Dimples Romana) adopted Domeng's young son Matthew as their own. Matthew (Sean de Guzman) grew up to be an excellent student, graduating from law school at the top of his class, and even topping the bar exams. 

After one night of drinking with friends, Robert's own birth daughter Mica (Tiffany Grey) confessed her romantic feelings to Matthew. Matthew told her that he did not want to commit for fear of what others would say about them if their relationship went anywhere beyond being siblings, since the two of them grew up together as such. However, the truth is Matthew actually had his eyes on someone else. 

The last two MMFF entries of veteran director Joel Lamangan all dealt with gay relationships. These were “Rainbow’s Sunset” (2018) and “Isa Pang Bahaghari” (2020), both dealing with men rekindling their gay feelings in old age. For this new project, Lamangan got more daring in depicting gay sexual relations, earning itself an R-18 rating, a first in MMFF history. That rating spelled box-office poison, and this was eventually confirmed.

Since the pandemic, Joel Lamangan's last nine films had all been with Vivamax, with racy titles like "Silab," "Moonlight Butterfly," "Island of Desire." Maybe that was why he got friskier with the sex scenes in this one. Butts and breasts were also gratuitously exposed here, but only in glimpses, which could really have been cut without affecting the run of the story. Lamangan's signature overtly excessive melodrama is still very much there. 

The script was written by Vivamax starlet and writer Quinn Carrillo. After "Biyak," "Tahan," "The Influencer" and "An Affair to Forget," this is her first to get a theatrical release, which is an auspicious career boost for her. Carrillo's main plot about a gay love affair that crossed generations was so twisted, it did have impact. She came up with a lot of confrontation scenes with lines so over-the-top, they can be construed as darkly humorous that way.

Sean de Guzman is Vivamax's biggest male star discovery since he was introduced in Lamangan's "Ang Anak ng Macho Dancer" (2021) where he also played the son of Alan Paule. Aside from baring skin, he had already proven his dramatic acting chops in his recent films like "Relyebo" (2022). De Guzman did not really look or act like the hotshot lawyer Matthew was supposed to me, but he nailed the dramatic parts with restraint. 

Tiffany Grey's Mica was also a lawyer who passed the bar on her first take despite being bored with her reviewing, and, according to her, not smart. However, she never once acted convincingly as a young lawyer. She could have argued more with her father about his favoritism for Matthew at her expense, but did not.  In fact, in practically all her scenes, Mica could not pick up obvious hints, and kept trying to coerce Matthew to have sex with her. 

Dimples Romana's role of a wife who had belatedly confirmed her husband's big secret has been done several times before in movies of this nature. Romana's highlight was a scene where Amanda poured out all her pent-up frustration and anger out on Robert. I would not be surprised if that one line alone where she summarized the whole plot of the movie in one complex sentence was responsible for winning her the Best Supporting Actress award. 

Jake Cuenca had once engaged in daring gay scenes before in Lamangan's "Lihis" (2013), so it was no surprise that he could do the intimate scenes that Lamangan asked him to do here. Apart from the sex scenes, Cuenca went all out in his portrayal of a closeted gay man here even in the small details in his facial expressions and tone of voice. His performance here as the conflicted Robert will certainly remind people of his skills as a dramatic actor. 

The story ultimately revolved around the decisions of the Robert character. This was an examination of the inner tug-of-war waged in the mind of a lifelong closeted married gay guy. The viewer's sensitivity to gender issues will play a role in understanding this film or not -- either identify and be moved with Robert's dilemma, or wonder how Robert would consider to sacrifice everything he had for the sake of what seemed to be misplaced lust. 4/10.